Alone with the kids

alone-with-the-kids

So he’s gone for almost 3 weeks.
It was my idea of birthday present, this mountain bike trip in the Grand Canyon, so really I am not allowed to complain.
And I don’t intend to.
I mean, the coming days alone with an 8 months baby and a 3,5 years old toddler will be fun.
Won’t they?

We have been talking about this for months, whether and how I would cope, on my own with the little devils.
Still, I only realised it when I left him and his bike at the airport, and carried on with the car, Ruben asleep and Emma hanging on the car window, trying to catch a glimpse of a big airplane like Daddy told her he would fly with.

clouds-freedom-airplane-plane

Strangely enough, I was – I am relaxed.

Strangely, because our life has been tough during the last months, with the sleep deprivation (Ruben is still veeeeeeery far from sleeping through), the school and nursery schedules, the stressful work, the never-ending household… so the idea of having to manage our yet-to-be-fine-tuned morning routine without him could be quite scaring.

But I feel relaxed, and prepared to take up the challenge. I even see it as an opportunity to pull myself together.
I have had the impression lately that I was losing track of my priorities, carried away by a rhythm I didn’t control. Sometimes it feels like drowning in a sea of duties, with a deep feeling of failure.

A photo by Christopher Campbell. unsplash.com/photos/Cp-LUHPRpWM

Failure to meet my professional objectives, to be on time at school, to enjoy my children’s company, to keep in touch with friends, to be a loving spouse, to get fit again. I am not gonna bring you back to the mothering burn out story. Let’s just say, it is never far away.

But during the coming days I will have no choice but to focus. Focus on the kids, on their needs, schedules, on our day-to-day organisation and how we can make it easier. By the time Mister K. will come back, I venture to hope we will have found our cruising speed.

black-and-white-sky-flags-boat

Furthermore, considering I will spend all my evenings completely alone, I intend to focus on my dear self as well (after cleaning out our mess, of course).
I know there will be working evenings, others where I will fall sound asleep at 21.00. But I promised I would take at least 15 minutes a day to do… nothing.
Just lay on the couch, listen to music, read a book, have a bath, all those things I don’t do easily, but help keep your balance.

And, of course, I have plans. Like a lot of plans. Like sort out the loft. Like losing those damn 3 last kilos. Like sending the last thank-you cards (I know).
Now that I am writing those lines, I realise I am already loading myself up with so many stuff that can wait (the thank-you cards maybe not).

sticky notes
I guess if I just manage not to freak out in the coming weeks, it will be great and it will be enough.

Anyway, I will keep you posted!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. mespetitso says:

    Je pense que j’aurais pû écrire pratiquement tout ce post il y a quelques années, j’ai l’impression de me retrouver et ce n’est pas si étrange vu que tes enfants ont environ la même différence d’âge que les miens à l’époque. Avec le recul que j’ai maintenant je peux te dire que ça ira de mieux en mieux, étape par étape, l’équilibre va se trouver. Cela prend du temps car j’ai vraiment trouvé que l’arrivée du 2ème était un sacré tsunami, mais l’équilibre arrive. Et comme je peux être tellement contradictoire, finalement une fois qu’il est là, que ça a été “plis facile”, la nostalgie de la période “bébés” est arrivée aussi 😉 Mais tu vas assurer, tu assures déjà grave et comme tu dis, même si tu as 1000 plan, juste déjà une journée à la fois c’est top 😉 Gros bisous !

    Like

  2. En tout cas, ton homme… il a sacrément de la chance de revoir un aussi chouette cadeau d’anniversaire… Tu demanderais pas le même pour ton anniversaire à toi … ? 😉 Courage en tout cas, et même si les miennes sont pas tellement plus grandes, je constate qu’une fois que les nuits deviennent moins pourries, cela change vraiment … vraiment la vie !

    Like

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